I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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