Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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