They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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