ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
