I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize