p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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