Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
