New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
