On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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