Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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