he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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