The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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