Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
