somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Terrible idea I love it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
