Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
