Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
