You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
