Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
