I wannas sexs uuuuu
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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