using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I want her autograph on my taint
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
