I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
