Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
