doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
