She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
