Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
