her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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