Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
