Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
