I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
