And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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