'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
