i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
