I could make wine with my vomit
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
