I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
