How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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