His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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