i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
