i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
40s are totally the cure
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
