He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
