$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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