You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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