im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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