Got a toothbrush?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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