respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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