Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Who died my cat blue again?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
