i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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