so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver