he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
