if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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