I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As shirtless as possible
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have feelings that need drinking.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
