her vagine was all disorganized.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
