Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
