What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
