I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
