i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
