Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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