If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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