I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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