I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
