The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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