And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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