Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize