I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
