I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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