She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
